Leaving takes so long

Leaving Thailand is not going to be easy. I have been preparing for this for a long time, but I just wasn't prepared for all the little reminders of The End. In the course of a normal conversation my mother will tell me who has asked for what furniture and what they will do with all the things they cannot take.

It's a part of life here. We 'claimed' furniture, vehicles, books, possessions sometimes years before the owners left. A lot of things in the expat community have long histories of being passed from family to family. It's no longer just a couch. It's a couch that has belonged to various families and now belongs to you, for the moment. And sometime, sooner or later, it will belong to someone else and your name will be part of the story. For a little while, it helps to know your things are with people who knew you and cared for you, and it is helpful to have things from your friends who have left you behind.

Since I've been on my own, I've had a hard time caring deeply about furniture; it's weird to buy things 'new,' that have no connections except for the ones I make. It is strange to own things that have had no part in the complex set of relationships that exist in a transient community.

I kind of feel that when you pass things on, you haven't completely left. You're still connected in a small way, even after your name ceases to be attached to your old things, because you remember what you left behind.

I find this strangely comforting.