Just kidding! I'm not ready to move to New Zealand just yet. But I got an email from a woman I talked to at NCA about a PhD program there, telling me I CAN STILL COME. On the one hand, that could be pretty cool (particularly since a lot of the scholarship I find about Thailand comes out of that area of the world). But she also told me that it's mostly independent work, no classes at all, and frankly, I just could not do that. I love classes. I am upset at the thought that school might be closed tomorrow due to snow because that is the day I have class. I LOVE CLASS. (I also hate snow, so it's a complex anti-school-closing-desire.)
Besides. I'm pretty sure they only want me to come because Americans are seen as being able to pay all the fees. (We got loans, y'all. And they are accepted by unis in the Commonwealth, based on the research I did that one time I thought I was going to England for my MA. Funny how different my life would have been.) Call me a cynic. I'll go there as a visiting scholar and they can pay me. Someday.
Actually, I was telling a senior undergrad last night about how life was terrible after I graduated from college, when my plans to go to England fell dramatically apart and I didn't have a place to live or a job or anything except my car and several boxes of books. It felt like I was just balancing on the edge of a precipice at every moment, and I couldn't stop and really, truly say, this utterly sucks because I just had to get through it. Undergrad was horrified, and actually, it was really her horror that let me admit how awful it was to myself. Have back up plans, I told her. This is advice I plan to have for myself too, as I graduate this time.
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