There is no home, only the process of forming one

I went to visit my parents' new house this weekend. It was surreal to see furniture and knick knacks from before we moved overseas next to things they shipped from Thailand. I'd look at the "before" things and suddenly remember stuff I didn't know I knew. My brother is too young to remember North Carolina; actually, I might be the only one able to remember much. My parents and I talked about how strange it was, 30 years worth of their lives and all of mine, suddenly on the same continent and in the same house.

Some of the items have an even loger history. I remembered the table my younger sister cut her head on one night when she was a toddler. My dad remembers that table as the one carved by his grandfather. Furniture and silver from both my grandmothers were scattered through the boxes and haphazardly displayed. Random connections.

"I never thought we'd see these chairs again," my mom told me of a pair I remember fondly. Our old dog used to sit on them when we were out. "We gave them to our friends, and when they heard we were coming home, they offered to give them back."

Other things entrusted to friends have disappeared. But for the most part, my parents have the entire history of their marriage, their kids, and their travels all in the same place.

It was strange and emotional to consider this: my parents gave away their things, without knowing if they would see them again, and moved to a new land and started completely over. Now all the threads of their past lives are coming together, and I don't think they ever really believed this would happen. (It's very strange, even for me.)

So I understand why the thought of this thread (meaning me) potentially moving to the West Coast (and being excited about the possibility) was a bit of a shock. But if I get into school out there... I have to say, I'm a bit excited at the thought of going somewhere completely new. I wonder who I will be?

I think about threads and leaving and it's good for me to remember that sometimes things come back together in unexpected ways. I don't have much in the way of material things. I think most of my threads have to do with the people I care about. Right now it seems like the best option for me will be to leave Philly and stay with my parents for awhile. (Finances and thesis dictate this decision, more than anything.) I feel very sad about this, but it feels like the right decision. I won't be too far. And I like buses. (Also the drive is not bad at all. I was surprised.)

I guess if my parents can get their chairs back, I can stay in touch with my people. I mean, connections to furniture are kind of one sided. Relationships are multiway.