This is just a weird limbo period. I feel like I'm waiting to start so many things, and at the same time, I can't decide if I'm waiting because, again, I feel on some level, if I don't start, they can't end. So maybe I like the limbo stage. I'm not sure what to imagine for the next stage of my life. Wanting to do things is a novel experience, but it is also overwhelming. In some ways, it was easier when I was convinced there was One Right Path for my life, and that I had to be careful to get it right. Now that I think there are lots of good options and no condemnation for choosing one above another, I actually have to take ownership of my choices.
On a more positive note, it feels like I'm getting a handle on thesisy things. Actually, this is the second situation in the last few weeks where a professor was like, you should make your project do this: ____. And then described what I was trying to do. So I'm not sure if that means I need to be more clear and have more confidence in my own work? Probably. I called my mom to tell her this because I felt she needed a conversation with me where I was not in tears. I miss her. She's defending her Master's Thesis on the 31st. We're just a thesising family at this point in time.
For a class assignment I wrote an imaginary lesson plan. I seriously enjoyed myself. Then I realized I was imagining a class of students who were all like me. I know that this is unrealistic! I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment